Siren
by EmbersOfAmber
Summary: Alistair learns more about his fellow Grey Warden as their relationship grows. Castle Redcliffe setting. Alistair/Cousland, with some Bann Teagan.


_**Disclaimer: Bioware owns. That is all.**_

 _ **This takes place right after Redcliffe was saved.**_

The Great Hall was full of the sound of happy voices, talking, drinking and reveling in being alive. Celebration was never more necessary than when you had looked death in the face, and lived to tell the tale. Even the most hardened warrior needed some beauty to cling to in the coming darkness.

Redcliffe had been saved from the walking dead in a great battle. The Grey Wardens and their traveling companions had helped turn the tide, and the village was safe for now.

Castle Redcliffe was a different matter entirely. Although the evil had been driven out, it was not without cost. Lady Isolde had given her life to save her son through a dubious blood magic ritual. The weight of that decision, and the aftermath, were a heavy weight on Alissa.

 _She was in the Arl's study, looking through some of his books in an attempt to distract herself from the emotionally draining events of the day. The sound of the door slamming shut made her turn, and look straight into the stormy, golden eyes of her fellow Warden._

 _The angry clicking of his chain mail boots across the stone floor matched the staccato rhythm of her heart, and he stalked towards her like an enraged bronto. Alissa had never seen Alistair angry, and the emotion seemed out of place on a face that normally wore a teasing smile._

 _He stopped in front of her, his jaw clenched. "I want to talk about what happened earlier."_

 _Alissa's brow furrowed. "What's on your mind?"_

 _She forced herself not to cringe when he gripped her arms tightly, giving her a slight shake before he spoke._

" _You let Lady Isolde sacrifice herself with blood magic! How could you do that?" he yelled._

 _Alistair had never spoken to her that way, and the shock of it caused the doubt she had kept at bay to ooze past her defenses._

" _You think I should have killed the little boy, instead?" Alissa mumbled through lips that scarcely moved._

 _Alistair released her arms in favor of pacing._

" _We could have gone to the Circle of Magi. We could have tried harder. We should have tried something that didn't involve blood magic, that's for sure. This is the Arl's son we're talking about here. What do you think he'll say when we revive him?"_

 _Alissa forced air into her lungs before she answered. This was yet another instance when she had been forced to pick between nothing but bad choices, and she hated it. Perhaps they should have tried something different, but she didn't feel she could leave Redcliffe without dealing with the demon. Any other choice just seemed unrealistic and dangerous. Yet, she was still plagued with uncertainty._

" _Maybe you're right, I don't know." Her voice was just above a whisper, and her eyes stung with her effort to hold back tears._

" _I just don't know how you could do it, how you could make that decision. I owe the Arl more than this." His voice was quieter, but still vibrated with anger._

 _Alissa turned to face the bookcase and wrapped her arms around her middle. She was desperate to hold in the emotions that threatened to drown her if they were released, and her body language reflected it._

 _She swallowed thickly, and forced out the response that was echoing like a mantra through her aching heart: "I honestly did the best I could, Alistair."_

 _There was a moment of heavy silence, before Alissa heard him release his breath in a sigh._

" _You're right. Of course you're right. I'm such an ass. I should know better than to second guess you like this." He shook his head and continued speaking._

" _Ahhh, why am I getting on your back about it? You did what you had to. It's just… all this death… Never mind. Let's just stop there before I do more than shove my foot in my mouth like an idiot."_

 _He ran his hands through his hair in agitation. He looked at her stiff back, opened his mouth to speak again, then shut it without a sound. His departure was punctuated by the soft click of the door closing._

 _Alissa crumpled to the floor, her arms still wrapped tightly around herself. Bravado deserted her, and the hot tears spilled down her cheeks. Each teardrop hit her splint metal armor with a small sound to pierce the silence. She rocked forward and back until the raw agony inside receded to the numbing ache she was accustomed to._

 _When the release of grief finally returned a measure of her control, she wiped her eyes and examined the small locket she still clutched in her hand. Smiling sadly, she slipped it into her bag for another time._

The sweet sound of Leliana's song faded, and the silence was broken by the cheering of everyone gathered in the great hall.

Alissa had entered the room feeling less than her usual confidence that evening. Wearing the garb of a lady, instead of her armor, left her feeling exposed, in more ways than one. Her warrior persona was one that she was able to use to cage the softer woman within. The woman of sensitivity and tender feelings.

Without her familiar trappings, she found herself forced to confront the duplicity of who she was. Warrior or lady, or warrior-lady? The struggle to gracefully merge the two sides of herself had defined her life before she became a Grey Warden. Now, she supposed she welcomed the domination of the warrior. The side of her that didn't flinch in battle, and would never accept defeat.

Bann Teagan met her at the door with a pleased smile on his face. He obviously appreciated her apparel as evidenced by his warm eyes and flirtatious banter. Placing her arm through his, he led her to a table close to the fire, and seated her next to him.

Leliana began another song. This one was a star-crossed lovers tale, which seemed to be the type that the bard had a particular fondness for. Alissa smiled as she listened, singing along in her head. She remembered it from when she was a child, and her nurse sang such songs for her amusement.

Alissa looked across the room and saw many familiar faces. Eamon's knights, some of the men from the village, and her own companions. Sten was devouring a large slice of cake, while Morrigan looked ready to turn the leering Zevran into a toad. Servants bustled in and out bringing food and drink to the tables.

Her unconscious searching finally brought her to the person she was seeking. Alistair was already looking at her when she finally spotted him. He gave her a cheeky grin before lifting a piece of cheese at her in salute. She smiled faintly, noting how different he looked in normal clothing, and wondering what he thought of her transformation. Did he prefer the gritty warrior, or the lady?

Before she made it to her room to bathe and dress earlier, Alistair had found her again. This time, to stammer out an apology for his anger, before pressing a rose into her hands.

He had thoughtfully removed every thorn, as she discovered when stroking her fingers up and down the stem of the beautiful flower. She had assured him of her forgiveness immediately, of course. But the wound he had given her was still fresh and stinging, and not easily forgotten.

Alistair seemed to realize that the damage could not be instantly undone. Although she smiled at him, there was a wariness in her eyes she had sometimes worn with others, but never with him. It would take time, but he would earn her trust again.

The shouts and hoots grew louder when, upon finishing the ballad, Leliana left her instrument behind to go and drink an ale with some of the knights. Bann Teagan's voice carried across the hall, and all eyes turned to look expectantly at Alissa.

"My lady Alissa, would you favor us with a song?"

She glanced around hastily, and saw shock on Leliana and Alistair's faces. Clearly, they thought their host was bumbling by asking such a thing of their leader. Yet another part of her past that few were aware of.

A slight smile graced her lips, and she raised demure eyes to Teagan.

"Surely, you cannot mean for me to sing, my lord? Why, we have such a gifted bard present…"

Bann Teagan gave her a knowing smile. "Lady, you are too modest, but I have heard mention of your lovely singing. Can I not persuade you?"

Brushing her hands across the fine velvet of her gown, Alissa gave in with a quiet laugh, her brow raised in amusement.

"Very well, Bann Teagan, but if the hounds howl at my singing, you must reckon with them." She stood gracefully, and walked to the front of the room. Leliana met her there, with her instrument in hand.

"It seems you have been keeping secrets" the bard whispered with a delighted smile. "If you like, I can play for you."

Alissa nodded her agreement, and the two shared a few more whispers before Leliana began to strum a tune on the strings.

Alissa opened her mouth and began a haunting melody. Her eyes held a far-away look, as her dulcet tones captured those present, and wove a spell over the hall. She first sang in the lilting Elven tongue, then in the common language so all could understand.

 _hahren na melana sahlin_

 _emma ir abelas_

 _souver'inan isala hamin_

 _vhenan him dor'felas_

 _in uthenera na revas_

 _vir sulahn'nehn_

 _vir dirthera_

 _vir samahl la numin_

 _vir lath sa'vunin_

 _elder your time is come_

 _now I am filled with sorrow_

 _weary eyes need resting_

 _heart has become grey and slow_

 _in waking sleep of freedom_

 _we sing, rejoice_

 _we tell the tales_

 _we laugh and cry_

 _we love one more day_

Alissa's eyes found Alistair's shocked ones, and held his gaze. She allowed all the trapped emotions from the past weeks to pour out of her, and her voice swelled in strength.

On the last refrain, Leliana joined Alissa in the song, and their beautiful harmony resonated long after their voices died away. There was silence in the hall for the space of several heartbeats, before thunderous applause arose.

Alissa laughed in delight even as her cheeks reddened in self-consciousness. Bann Teagan bowed to her and taking her hand, led her back to her seat.

Alistair was still staring slack-jawed at this woman he thought he knew, but was apparently, only just beginning to discover.

 _Is there anything she can't do?_ he wondered wryly, watching her laugh and smile.

Leliana now led the room in a bawdy drinking song, and everyone joined in. Many were starting to fall deeper into their cups, and the noise increased as the night wore on.

When Alissa felt she would embarrass herself if she drank anymore, she rose, and bid Bann Teagan goodnight. He kissed her hand, his mouth lingering over her knuckles, before he released her and bid her a pleasant sleep.

She walked out of the hall and into the night air, hoping it would cool the fire in her cheeks that was always the result of her drinking. She heard footsteps behind her and smiled, sure of who it would be. She turned, and was surprised to see Zevran standing there grinning at her.

"My beautiful Grey Warden, you have the body of a goddess, and the voice of an angel. May I ask where you learned such a lovely song, and in the elven tongue?"

Alissa smiled wistfully. "I learned it from an elf I grew up with. Her mother worked in the castle, and we often played together. She is…she was my friend."

"I see. Is it usual for Ferelden nobles to play with servant's children?" he asked, with raised brows.

"Well, no, I suppose it isn't, but I've never been _usual_." she said with a sweeping gesture towards herself.

Zevran stepped forward, and clasped both of her hands in his. He bent and kissed them, then looked up at her with mischief in his eyes. "So, you would not mind an elven lover, then? I can show you many pleasures, of which I am sure you have never dreamed."

Alissa shook her head to deny his foolishness, but found that it made the world tilt. She clutched Zevran's hands more firmly until the world stopped spinning.

"I think I've had too much ale. I need to go to bed…" when his smile brightened, she realized what she had said, and quickly amended, "alone!"

The banging of the door signaled the approach of another person, and Alissa nearly sagged in relief. She had never had to fend off such determined seduction before she met Zevran, and it was rather exhausting at times. She was going to have to find a better way to deal with him.

Zevran placed his hands on his heart with a dramatic sigh. "Your resistance to me is clearly evidence of your great strength, it makes me mad with desire. If you change your mind, I am yours to command. Pleasant dreams, dear lady." With that, he melted into the shadows of the castle.

Alistair strode forward, his eyes searching the shadows.

"Now, what was that about?"

Alissa shrugged. "The nightly offer, what else?"

Alistair scowled, then looked at her hopefully. "Would you like me to hurt him? I could just stab him a little…"

Alissa snickered. "What I really need, ser, is for you to help me to my room. I'm not exactly steady on my feet at the moment."

"At your service" he said with a bow, then straightening, offered his arm. She hooked her arm through his, appreciating the feel of firm muscle unobstructed by armor. They entered the castle, strolling at a comfortable pace, content to be together.

"Your song was very beautiful, my lady."

Alissa glanced at him and raised her eyebrows at his unusually serious tone, but replied in kind.

"I…thank you, Alistair. I haven't sung in….well, it's been a while. Music was a part of my education growing up. I enjoyed it, but it doesn't serve a lot of use against darkspawn."

He gave her a teasing smile. "I don't know, perhaps you could try it in the next battle? Soothe the savage beast? It might be worth a try. A siren's power is not to be underestimated, after all. I find myself wondering what other talents you may be hiding?"

They stopped at her door, and she released his arm reluctantly. She placed her hands on her hips and scoffed.

"In these clothes? How would I hide anything? All my, er, _charms_ are on display."

Alistair smirked as he made a show of examining her in the low-cut gown. "Yes, well, not _all_ your charms, I'm sure. Still, I am very grateful to that dress."

Alissa smacked him lightly on the arm.

"Ow, ow! Careful, I bruise easily."

"You had best watch yourself, lest I call you on that promise you made me." She crossed her arms and gave him a stern look.

"What promise might that be, my lady?" He was distracted by the increase of her cleavage with the crossing of her arms.

"The one where you said you would put on a dress and dance the Remigold for me. I'm sure I could find you a pretty dress, if you care to try?" She arched a brow as her eyes danced with mischief.

Alistair groaned. "Oh, Maker! You would have to remind me of _that_ , cruel woman."

Alissa laughed and grabbed his hand. She started pulling him into her room, but he resisted, looking uncomfortable.

"I'm not sure it would be right for me to enter your room."

She sighed but released his hand. "Very well, wait right here."

She returned with a small envelope, and handed it to him. He gave her a questioning look, but she shook her head.

"Open it later."

He looked back down at the envelope, nearly overcome with curiosity. The gentle brush of her lips across his cheek startled him, and he turned his head suddenly, bumping into her.

"Oh, sorry! I just…are you alright?" he stammered.

She rubbed her smarting nose and shook her head.

"No, I think I bruised my pride. Good night, Alistair."

Alissa turned to enter her room, but Alistair caught her hand.

"Wait. Please? Could we just…try that one more time? I would like to give it another shot, if you're willing."

Alissa turned, smiling tentatively. "Give it a shot? I hope this means your aim is better than mine."

"Well, maybe not, but you know, practice makes perfect."

 _ **A/N If you haven't heard Leliana's song in the game, go to youtube and listen to it, it's beautiful! I stole it for my PC to sing because I just liked the whole idea.**_


End file.
